Sugar daddy.
BEING a sugar daddy isn't just about running around St. Tropez with a bevy of tanned 20-somethings on your aging arm.
Well, maybe it is, but it's not all sugar and spice. Sugar daddies have problems, too.
That's why Earn the Necklace
- a website that shares stories of relationships between men and their
kept women - has just hired a sugar-daddy advice columnist:
A
45-year-old senior financial analyst who writes under a pseudonym,
Trent.
But once your sugar baby has found you, what do you need to know? Read on for Trent's five pearls of wisdom for sugar daddies.
Don't become intimate too quickly:
You might be tempted to seal the deal that first night. Don't! A real
sugar daddy will wait until he's comfortable with his sugar baby.
And no
one can really know that on the first date. Go out on dates at least a
few times. Take a cue from Millionaire Matchmaker Patti Stanger: No
intimacy before monogamy.
Set firm boundaries:
Be
upfront, and make sure you both know what the boundaries and
expectations are.
Sugar daddies should not put anything in writing
relating to compensation.
And she has to trust he'll live up to his end
of the bargain, just like he hopes she will hers.
Verbally agree on
initial dos and don'ts, and allow room for the relationship to evolve.
Agree on what pampering her will entail.
She might not want to be handed
an envelope stuffed with cash, for example, and you might not be
content with doling out foot massages and eating in every night.
Be respectful:
A sugar daddy needs to respect his sugar baby and listen. The sugar
baby/sugar daddy relationship may be unconventional, but it's important
to remember it's still a relationship; it's not just a business
transaction.
She's not your possession, chattel or employee. Her needs
need to be met as much as yours do.
Make an effort:
There
needs to be an emotional and physical connection, and you need to share
some of the same interests - or at least be willing to.
Even though you
have the bank account, you still need to keep your sugar baby happy.
Why? She could become disinterested and leave. Chances are you couldn't
have dated her without your money - so make an effort for her to
actually like you.
This is where things can get complicated. If a sugar
baby is getting too attached, for example, it's best for the sugar daddy
to remind her of how they met and what the expectations are.
The
reverse is also true: A sugar baby should remind a sugar daddy about
their relationship.
Don't make it all about money:
The sugar daddy has the money, and the sugar baby has the sugar. Both
have what they know the other person wants.
Money may be part of the
equation, but it's not a bargaining chip. The relationship is about
willfully fulfilling each other's needs with something you can easily
give.
It's not so different from knowing your wife likes flowers and
sending her a bouquet every week, for example. In this case, you're
simply fast-forwarding to that phase.
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