10 signs it's time to break up

1. Your partner puts you down

Of course it’s imperative to mention the obvious deal breakers like physical, emotional or verbal abuse. If your partner puts you down, in an obvious and even not so obvious way, the relationship is unhealthy for you.

2. Your partner doesn't respect you

If your partner disrespects you - in front of others or privately. A good relationship has respect at its core. Mutual respect is essential or it is definitely time to break up. Life isn’t a dress rehearsal. 

3. Your partner tries to control you

If your partner tries to control you - how you behave, who your friends are, what you wear, how you spend your time - this is a giant waving red flag. And men don’t just control women, be very sure in heterosexual relationships women can control men too and it’s just as wrong.

4. You're not attracted to your partner anymore

If you’ve been dating awhile and you cannot muster any attraction to them anymore - you shy way from touches, you stop kissing and the idea of kissing turns you off … it’s very hard to turn that around and if you’re not married with kids, do you want to? Or do you want to find someone you’re more compatible with on every level?

5. You avoid controntation

If you start to lie to your partner, or hide the truth - whether it’s to avoid confrontation or because there are issues neither of you can cope with together. 

Lying snowballs into bigger and bigger gaps and untruths in your relationship and unless you are able to change that behavior, the relationship will only get worse.

6. You believe you're being lied to or cheated on

You believe you are being lied to, and perhaps cheated on. While relationships can survive infidelity and may not be a deal breaker for some, being lied to and betrayed certainly puts splitting up on the table for discussion. 

In these cases I strongly recommend counseling and mediation because often without guidance to change as a couple, this pattern will repeat itself.

7. You have different goals and values

You find that what brought you together in the first place isn’t enough to sustain a long term relationship because you have different values and goals.

 It’s very hard to build a life together if you don’t agree on what kind of life you want to have. It will be a daily struggle riddled with conflict. Check please, time to go.

8. You don't consider your partner a friend

If you don’t think of your partner as one of your inner circle of best friends (not everyone’s’ partner is their best, best friend) and can’t trust them with your feelings and vulnerabilities you will never be truly safe and comfortable in the relationship so don’t take it a step further.

9. You don't miss them

If you find yourselves working long hours, or traveling a lot and not missing one another, not really minding the time apart, it’s time to question what kind of relationship you have and what you want. Is this the right relationship for you?

 bodyandsoul